8 Steps to Forgiveness

Happy New Year! I hope 2011 brings forth a year filled with love, purpose, gratitude and growth for all of you!

One of the best ways to start anew, as most people do in the new year, is by forgiving the people/events that have held you back or hurt you in the past and move forward with a clean slate.

The dictionary defines forgiveness as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. Giving forgiveness can take work.

Here are 8 steps to get started:

1- Define your emotion. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK.
2- Decide your action. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.
3- Know that forgiving is not condoning.Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the “peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story.”
4- Understand what is happening or has happened.Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes – or ten years – ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.
5- Manage your reaction. At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body’s flight or fight response.
6- Understand that you can control only you. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the “unenforceable rules” you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.
7-Stop replaying it in your mind. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.
8- Move forward in life and not dwell on the past. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.

Enter 2011 with a clear slate and conscience. Remember if you are looking ahead you can see where you are going.

Tis' the Season..

The holidays have arrived! One of my favorite times of the year (although I truly love any holiday and reason to celebrate, lol)! With all the hustle and bustle of putting up the Christmas tree, shopping for loved ones and attending gatherings with those special people, we can sometimes lose site of the moments that are changing around us.

The holiday season is just that, a season. In a weeks time, things will be back to normal, work and school will be in session and life, as we know it continues. But with that thought in mind, this holiday season try giving yourself the best gift of all and do some "seasonal cleaning."

With the new year around the corner, start cleaning and making way for all the good that is in store for you. Take whatever necessary steps you need in order to have order in your life! Whether it's cleaning up your house, applying for new jobs, or removing some people from out of your picture, do it!

Make that list and check it twice to make sure you have the best holiday season and new year ever!!

Help Make Breast Cancer a Global Issue

Every 69 seconds, somewhere in the world, a woman dies of breast cancer.

Last year, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent surgery and intensive radiation. With God's grace, the cancer was successfully removed and this year we celebrated her one-year anniversary of being cancer-free.

I chose purposefully to not keep my mother's health condition a secret. For the past year, I have kept family and friends abreast of her progress via my Twitter and FB pages and the response and love we have received has been more than humbling.

This month, I became a breast cancer advocate. In the future, I will be attending legislative hearings and fighting furiously for a cure. I hope that you can help me! Please visit http://69-seconds.org and sign the petition to help make cancer a global priority. We all can make a difference with just the click of a button and a tap on the keyboard and 69 seconds of your time.

Me and my mom are very grateful for the support and hope that if you do not choose to help, that you find another issue that is important to you, to support. Advocacy is very important.

I Need Your Help!

Kim's Keepsake is revamping and recharging. And I need your help. Starting in October, I'm looking for you to send me your requests on what YOU would like for me to discuss on the blog. The topics are endless! Love, Relationships, Career, Faith, Finances, whatever you want to see on Kim's Keepsake let me know! Can't wait to hear from you!

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Email: kimskeepsake@gmail.com

The Point of it All.

I complain (almost everyday) about how much graduate school has consumed so much of my life. Taking time away from family, friends, and the "opportunities" to build on a personal life. My 14-hour days away from home have been the cause of a lack of sleep and bad diet.. But it's also given me a lot of time to myself. To think, dream, and grow. Each day I learn something new, whether it's something that I find interesting or not. A lesson in each day.

And on those quiet car rides back home, I feel fulfilled.. And I reflect on the progress that I made in such a small time frame.. And I get it.

So I've come to realize that even in my absence from everyone else, just being by myself causes me to learn and be more happy with the situation that I'm in. And I guess that's why I'm here.. For right now.

The Realest Love I Know..

Nothing like a mother's love

The Past is Practice

I live with no regrets!!!! Everything that I've been through, was for a reason and I'm thankful for each thing.

In recent years, I've done a lot of personal and spiritual growth. Took out some time to better know myself and with that, I made some mistakes, took some risks, got hurt, fell down, but eventually as the song goes, "got back up." Hard times are only temporary so I learned to bounce back as quickly as possible. Sometimes people are startled by people that don't allow things to get the best of them, but I find it to be my inner strength to not let situations hinder my present and most importantly, my future.

My past was nowhere near perfect, but it was nowhere near bad either. I dealt with having an absentee father that lived 15 minutes away from me, and when I was younger I was hurt by the fact that my dad didn't want to be apart of my life. But by having a father that was missing from my life, I later learned to appreciate the men that do take care of their responsibilities and I learned to cope with disappointment. I hold no grudges against my father, and am currently working on rebuilding the relationship that was once broken.

I come across so many people that feel they aren't deserving of a fulfilling life due to things that they may have done, or may have been done to them. They think "It's not meant for me to be happy." And tell them all the same thing: "You deserve the best, we all do. God created us for purpose and it's up to us to live to that potential." Your past was just practice! Everything that you went through was to prepare you for the goodness that is intended for your life. Don't be ashamed of what you've done or where you came from. Utilize the lesson learned!

Life teaches us something everyday. We have to learn to take control of lives, take each lesson and use it as a stepping stone to move forward and be better. Your past was the practice you needed to win the game of life. Rehearsals over, showtime is now.